The Gift of Humility
Staying Grounded in Victory
School. A parent teacher meeting. My mother talking with my teacher. The teacher says - ‘There are a lot of people who are smart but few who stay humble while they are at the top.’
Home. A virtual conversation with a friend I have never met. He tells me - ‘Forget about the exam. Regardless of you making it to the dream college - stay grounded.’
These two experiences symbolising a ton of similar ones I have had over the years embody the reason I am writing this piece. This is not to boast about anything I have accomplished nor to talk about success. I have always wanted to write on this topic just to convey a lesson which I have learned and wish to pass on.
In all the time I have interacted with different people - teachers, relatives, family, friends and even strangers - people who were well-wishers and aware of my (limited) achievements, I have found one common thread running through all their compliments. Most of them have not appreciated the very accomplishment at hand as much as they have acknowledged my sense of humility. It feels extremely odd to be talking about humility and myself in the same breath. It really destroys the value of it, doesn’t it ? But, as I said before, the value of staying humble is a gift I am extremely grateful for but more importantly, it is a virtue one can acquire by way of active effort.
So, let’s talk about humility. What is it ? Does it entail being apologetic and under confident ? Is a humble person supposed to be restrained, shy and modest in that sense of the word ? Does it mean being self-deprecating and not enjoying the fruits of one’s success ? The answer, in my opinion, is none of these. As it’s famously said - ‘Mercy is the virtue of the brave’, so is humility a value which shines most brightly in a person who’s confident and successful.
Being humble simply means being conscious of the fact that one’s achievements are neither permanent nor solely due to one’s own efforts. It is a sincere realisation that numerous people and circumstances have a role to play in one’s accomplishments and acknowledging the same while also respecting one’s own effort. It’s not saying, in response to a compliment - “I did nothing. It was an accident.”; rather, it’s saying - “Thank You. It’s due to your trust in me and the effort of the whole team.”
While staying with that line of thought, it is also essential to understand that saying nice things does not make one humble. Humility is something one must embody and sincerely believe in. We all must understand that our reaching the destination we set out for doesn’t make us the conquerors of the world. Success is ephemeral, especially for the ones who take it for granted. Therefore, being humble means, in the simplest terms - Enjoying your success along with others devoid of a false sense of superiority or entitlement.
To a pragmatist, the discussion above may seem pointless, antiquated or too “idealist”. There may be merit in that criticism too. So, is there a fully rational justification for being humble or is it just another religious virtue we must strive for ? I place my bets on the former.
It is in the nature of human beings to strive for more, to not be satisfied with one achievement forever. It is also our disposition to like it when people appreciate our efforts and celebrate our success. No one likes to elicit envy or ill-will from others. Not even a completely rational person. This twin-goal is what humility, as a rational strategy, guarantees.
A person who wins and then goes about the town blowing his trumpet soon becomes an object of ridicule, hatred and the ‘green-eyed jealousy’. In his thoughtless obsession, what he essentially does is make people less likely to help him in the future and more likely to stay indifferent, if not antagonistic, to his desire to achieve more. He also loses the opportunities to listen to sincere appreciation from others as also constructive criticism. What he does, in short, is destroy the very framework which allowed him the success in the first place and which exists to provide him validation of his accomplishment. It’s as simple as - No one sings in the face of a cawing crow.
Therefore, humility is powerful - both as a principled virtue which keeps us in our place and as a pragmatic strategy to achieve more. In my moments of introspection (and preparations for a speech), I have developed a proverb of my own which goes, “Honesty, along with Modesty is the best policy.” However cheeky it may sound, I do believe that there is a grain of truth in it. An honest person doesn’t have to hide from his own self and a modest person ensures that the self does not wander too far from sight. Let me know what you think.
Reach the sky, but keep ur feet grounded 😎😎
Honesty along with Modesty is the best policy. Superb 👏